Family Reflection: Mom contrasts Haitian Culture to America

REMEMBERING HAITI

She leaned back solemnly, turning her face towards the window. Her eyes traced the windowsill as she scanned her memory. A smile cracked sharply through her impressed lips, as though a laugh would follow.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began to tell her story--

“I remember the beautiful summers. The sunsets, the beaches, and just being surrounded by lots of water,” reflected Nahomie when asked if she remembers her former home in Haiti.

FAMILY VALUES

Nahomie Bellevue is Haitian American. Her daughter, Johanne Bellevue, came to the U.S. three years ago, and her two sons, Brian Jean-Noel and Karmyne Noel are Americans by birth. The traditions and values Nahomie grew up with never left her. She teaches her children to understand the values, as a part of their family heritage and who they are.

"I remember as kids, the village kids would play among ourselves. During the events, we would all gather together around a bonfire and the adults would tell us stories," said Nahomie. "Stories of the history and the generations before us, and all of the things they went through. That's what we did as kids."

Nahomie and her children are living a good life in the U.S., though not a day goes by that she doesn’t think of Haiti and the childhood memories she wished her children could have shared. 

HOW IT ALL HAPPENED

When Nahomie was a small girl, her mother and father left Haiti, relocating to America. They came to find work and to make a better life for their family, leaving Nahomie to be raised by her aunt in Haiti. After being separated from her parents, they sent for Nahomie to reunite with them in the U.S. when she was 13 years old. She was happy to arrive because she missed her parents, but the culture shock caused home sickness and fear to overwhelm her.

"In Haiti, the children are always out on the street or at the beach," explained Nahomie. "Once I reach America, everything changed. I was confined to the house a lot, because my parents were overprotective. I remember thinking "I left Haiti for this?'"

The chilling winter was a severe shock to Nahomie, because temperatures rarely get below 70 degrees in Haiti. "Haiti is tropical. It's hot, the sun is shining all year round," Nahomie said, raising her arms and expanding them, exemplifying sunshine. "Then I arrived in November. In December, it got very cold. I thought to myself, 'I don't know if I'm going to survive this.'"

Over time, Nahomie became settled in America. The family lived in Florida because of the beaches and the warm temperatures. “The beaches in Florida reminded me of Haiti,” admitted Nahomie. Most of her family now resides in Florida.

CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

“One thing I like about America is the fact that you have your freedom,” said Nahomie.

As a girl in Haiti, the older women prepared the girls for marriage as soon as they were walking age. Girls were trained to be home makers, to cook and iron. The freewill to be a child and play outside all day was not a priority for Nahomie.

Nahomie said that she likes how women have more equality, especially because of the feminist movement. “It is really a man’s world in Haiti,” said Nahomie, "Women don't really have a say so about much. We just listened and followed instruction. If we didn't, the consequences of a disobedient female came pretty close to being charged for a vicious crime."

Being in the U.S. for over 20 years, Nahomie has been independent, and taught her children, especially her boys how to take care of themselves. The young men back in Haiti were not treated as harshly as the young women. “The brothers, they were put on pedestals!” exclaimed Nahomie. “I can still hear my parents saying ‘They are boys, they don’t need to do this and that.’”

Regardless of the traditions Nahomie grew up in, she taught her sons to cook and clean. Many young Haitian men grow up unable to take care of themselves without their mothers or sisters to help them. This is because they grew up sheltered. Nahomie did not want to punish her sons by sheltering them, disabling their ability to be independent strong men.  

REFLECTIONS FROM BRIAN JEAN-NOEL

            “I am proud to be an American,” said Brian, Nahomie’s oldest son. “I just wish I was more fluent in our language, however.”

            Brian Jean-Noel, like many children with International parents, grew up speaking English, and failed to learn the parents’ native language. The priority is English, because it is the most common American language, but the cultural importance of learning the native language is nearly forgotten.

            “Sometimes I feel like I’m missing a part of who I am because I can’t understand or speak the language,” said Brian. 

A THOUGHT FROM JOHANNE BELLEVUE

Johanne Bellevue grew up speaking Creole, one of Haiti’s two prominent languages. Johanne lived in Haiti until three years ago. She stayed with her father, Newton, who is Nahomie’s husband. Newton works frequently in Haiti, therefore, making it nearly impossible to be home with his family for months at a time.

“I am happy to be her in the U.S. with my step-mom and my brothers,” said Johanne. “Sometimes I feel like I just want to return home to see my family, my friends, and my country.”

Johanne gets homesick frequently, especially since her father is constantly away. She is learning to adapt in America, by working and taking classes at Maple Woods College.

THIS IS HOME

            Nahomie sat up and begin to look around her home, smiling brighter than before. “I think I am very happy where I am in life,” she said. Nahomie works in Pharmaceutical Management, taking care of the household and children while her husband is away. Soon, Brian will be graduating from college in the medical field, Johanne will continue taking classes, and Karmyne will enter into High School and play Varsity football.

            “This place is where I came to be with my parents, raise my children, and advance in my career,” said Nahomie. “This is home.”

--posted April 18th